WWW: This is a seriously impressive essay: very good focus on the question, clear argument running through the majority, critical autonomy.
We are certainly on track for a top grade in the summer.
EBI: There are still areas we can look to improve...
- A minor but written English is inconsistent... For A/A* it could be a deciding factor.
- Your Alain de Botton paragraph is weaker, the content is there but the argument is difficult to follow. This is one to reflect and revise. Get Gramsci in there too for points on hegemony.
- This may be a timing issue but the conclusion is far less convincing than the rest of the essay... this is one to keep an eye on in terms of making a good final impression!
LR: See Blog
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